I’m wishing you well, my dear.
I’ll miss you, I really will
but I’ll be thinking of you every now and then
feeling you forget me
us
but I’ll be here
I really will
Always.
I’m scared
I’m lonely
I wish you were here to hold me
“Because I care about you”
STOP. STOP. STOP. STOP. STOP.
The music filled my ears
I fell in love with the tune
the voice
the echoes
and I fell in love with the comfort
the feelings
and all the rest of everything that went with being on hardwood floors
…everything felt so normal…
and I wanted just once to feel you hold me tight
you did
and you turned me around
and we swayed with the music
thoughts entangling our feet as we gracefully spun
around and around and around and around
and I missed you. I missed you. I missed you.
Do you ever get really scared of losing someone? and miss them even if they’re right in front of you? I feel so alone in this feeling….but I can’t seem to get it in my head that I’m not losing you with every kiss.
Remember back in the day when our teachers would ask us what we wanted to do in 10 years? I can’t remember whether or not that ten years has come yet…but today someone asked about life 20 years from now…then I realized that I’ve wasted a lot of days in this precious life of mine. I need to make up for what I’ve lost. I’m seventeen years young, but everything is going by so fast.
I can’t do this without you.
Got a bottle of Bacardi
A bottle of vodka
A little extra champagne
and some things that’ll put me right to sleep
“Life is a beach, I’m just playing in the sand”
I’m scared of letting you go
At least high all you do is laugh.
It’s a fake sort of happy but it sure as hell is better than this. There’s no room for tears or sadness and I know I look and feel ridiculous but it’s worth it not to feel like total, utter shit all the time. But I hate it at the same time. For changing me. For changing you. It’s fucking ridiculous. Pathetic. So. Fucking. Pathetic. It’s a wonder why we’ve grown to like it so much—since it gives us that escape for however long. It helps me forget. Literally forget—where I am, who I’m with, what I’m doing, where I’m going. What’s going on. That’s scary. It really is. Not at the time…but just knowing that you can forget how things felt, physically or emotionally I can’t remember pain, bad moods, heartbreaking sickness…I just let it go…but I couldn’t even remember your kiss. That’s what scares me most.
I’m falling apart
I’m falling apart
I’m falling apart
To fall asleep these days I cling to my pillow and pretend it’s you
Is it okay to feel lost every once in a while?
or in my case
all the time?
every second
of every day?
I’m not okay
I’m not okay
I’m not okay
I’ve lost my way
I’m not okay
I’m not okay
I’m not okay
